I've Been Meaning To Try Harder For At Least A Decade

Carbon 14 was one of those ubiquitous glossy-covered typeset 'fanzines' from back in the '90s that sucked pretty wildly, which I know is my standard reaction to most '90s zines: "it sucked", only this time instead of just relying on my memory I've got a Carbon 14 zine review from an old issue of Brushback to back me up ("used to be when a zine sucked it was a xerox job that only cost 50 cents, now they're all full-blown mags that cost 5 bucks and it's starting to get on my nerves"). One issue of Carbon 14 came with a Chrome Cranks 7" that was so awful that it swore me off everything else by Chrome Cranks from there on out -- I dunno, did I miss anything? I ended up buying one more issue of Carbon 14 after that, which was terrible as well, but the EP that came with it was actually pretty solid, as far as the b-side goes at least. The Ultra Bide track is borderline heavy/insane, and the Cosmic Psychos track -- which I'm sure is the reason why I relented and bought the thing -- is a 'very metal' version of "Back In Town", or "very meht-tahl" as Dee Snider used to say it.

Ultra Bide -

"Kill Me Tender"

Cosmic Psychos -

"B.I.T. (Very Metal)"

You Gotta Sleep Sometime And That's When I'll Set The Fire

A split of two Australian bands (actually one's not-so-Australian, that's just a lame joke) doing Halo of Flies covers... neither one can touch the original, but Vertigo does way better than their miserable Crime cover, at least... Cosmic Psychos rule in general, I wish I owned more of their records.




Vertigo -

"You Get Nothing"

Cosmic Psychos -

"Garbage Rock"

I've Got Waste Control

Around the same time that a newer, less-constricted underground scene-- exemplefied by labels like Homestead Records and zines like the then-newly revitalized Forced Exposure-- began sprouting up from what was left of the first waves of U.S. hardcore in the mid-80's, a bunch of people started to realize that just about every piece of punk rock vinyl that made its way to American record shops from Australia or New Zealand was absolute gold. For a while there you could pretty much count on anything from Citadel or Flying Nun or Aberrant or Waterfront, etc. etc., was gonna be great, and so I'd take regular trips down to the old Rhymes Records in New Haven, which had a good OZ/NZ section, and try to grab whatever I could get my hands on. The day that I walked out of Rhymes with a Greenhouse of Terror 12" and the Cosmic Psychos' "Down On The Farm", both scored from the used bin for less than five bucks each, was an awesome day indeed.

Like a lot of Aussie bands, the Cosmic Psychos definitely take their cues from the Stooges' stretched-out, wah-wah pedal-infused jams, but in that bass-heavy, lyrically-direct way that the Australians have a knack for. If you haven't heard this stuff before, though, don't be misled into thinking this is some lame-ass drugged-out hippie shit (I mean, fuck, that's what always pops into my head whenever I think back to my old Stooges records). This stuff has definitely got some big balls, and seeing how "Down On The Farm" came out in '85, it's pretty easy to draw a direct line from this to Halo of Flies-- especially since Amp Rep re-issued this on CD a while back, or so I've heard.

Just listen to the crushing riff on "Custom Credit", and the way Ross Knight sings, "You drove me up the wall, I ain't no spidah" before bringing in the guitar solo by announcing, "Give us some wah-wah, Dirty," and then tell me this shit ain't great.



Cosmic Psychos -

"Custom Credit"

"Down On The Farm"

"Crazy Woman"

(these files are now listen-only)